Doing Hard Things
The Subconscious Fat of It
“Wait.” Mr. Skeptical says while raising his hands. “Before you get into it, why the hand image?”
“I’ll explain that later.”
“Because I can’t help it, but seeing the word hard in the title and a hand in the shower makes me think of masturbating.”
“This newsletter isn’t about what you do every time you shower.”
“You’re the one who wrote this. Are you sure this isn’t your Subconscious Fat?”
My jaw tenses, but I ignore his idiotic comment. “I’m motivated to write this today because I realized I was doing something hard while reading another Substack article by Nat Eliason.”
Mr. Skeptical yawns. “Why would anyone want to do something hard?”
“There’re many reasons for doing hard things.”
Subconscious Fat at 30,000 feet
It feels gratifying after doing something tough. I remember the simple advice a woman I was dating gave me. She suggested I make my bed each morning. I had recently separated, so I was spoiled because my ex-wife made the bed every morning. I didn’t make my bed when I moved and started living with two male friends.
Mr. Skeptical interrupts, “You should feel embarrassed.”
“I do. But the moral is that I listened to the advice.”
“That’s supposed to be hard. Making your bed?”
I wish readers out there could hear Mr. Skeptical’s tone. He raises the bar in sarcasm, reaching heights unachievable to mere mortals. “For me, it was hard. It was a habit I had lost after 11 years of marriage.”
“Yeah, and you should be awarded a medal.”
Subconscious Fat at 10,000 feet
Getting into and through chiropractic school was much harder than making the bed. It was tough because I was under a time deadline. A Florida state law was to be enacted on July 1, 1990. I had to get into a chiropractic college before that date to be grandfathered in, avoiding needing a bachelor’s degree.
Mr. Skeptical squints his eyes at me. “So, you never got a Bachelor’s degree?”
“No, but I had to take biochemistry, chemistry 1 and 2, organic chemistry 1 and 2, and physics 1 and 2. Those were very tough courses.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted to see you as a chiropractor. All doctors I know have a Bachelor’s degree.”
“Yes, now all chiros do because it’s required.”
“But you got grandfathered in.”
“Yes, I made it in by the skin of my teeth. I had to take challenging 6-week accelerated courses to beat the deadline. Parker Chiropractic accepted a summer first-year class starting in May 1990, just two months before the deadline. I was lucky to make it in. I was the second youngest in my class at twenty years old.”
“Hmmph sounds suspicious to me.”
“In Organic Chemistry 2, I got a D. Nevertheless, I pleaded with my professor, begging that if he didn’t give me a C, I’d need two more years to get my degree.”
“Did it feel good to beg?”
“No, but he was empathetic and gave me the C.”
Mr. Skeptical fakes a cough, uttering something sounding like ‘asskisser.’
I pretend I don’t hear it. “Getting through something difficult like those courses makes one feel great. Going through chiropractic school was hard too, and I’d often remind myself that I can get through tough courses. As chiropractors, we never really need chemistry or biochemistry, but it’s still proof we can do hard things.”
“Yes, they’re known as weed-out courses.”
“Yes, and weed-out courses serve a purpose: to show who can do hard things. If not, everybody would be a doctor or lawyer. Well, not everyone because it’s an expensive education.”
“Didn’t you feel like maybe you didn’t deserve to get into Chiro school?”
“No, a lot of people barely made it in. Interestingly, now that I’m so into nutrition, those chemistry courses are useful for understanding how the body processes food.”
Mr. Skeptical snaps his fingers and looks up, indicating remembering something. “Imposter syndrome, that’s what it’s called. You must’ve had a lot of that.”
Again, I chose to ignore his critique. “The point is that doing something hard is fantastic for a human’s confidence, and it’s something we can control. And it’s transferrable.”
“Transferrable?”
Subconscious Fat at Eye-Level
“Yes, transferrable. It’s the main benefit of doing hard things. When you do something hard in one area of your life, you can apply it and have confidence in another.”
“I’m not sure I buy that.”
“I don’t expect you to because you should be called Mr. Negative. Or better yet, Debbie Downer.”
“Hey, I resent that. I’m ensuring I keep you honest and disagree with your views. I don’t see how getting through a difficult education can help with something different like getting through a romantic breakup.”
“You’re choosing to see how they aren’t related. But I choose to see that both situations are hard, and I believe if one gets through one situation, it can help one get through the other.”
“But they’re still different. Higher education can be mentally challenging, but romantic relationships are emotionally demanding. Two different types of hard.”
“I’m not disagreeing that they’re different challenges. Yet, I believe getting through one can still help with the other. Like the famous quote by Henry Ford.”
If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.
Practical Suggestions and Conclusions
I want to leave you all with a quick and easy way to do something challenging that’s transferable.
“This is where I believe you’re dropping the ball.”
“Listen Debbie Downer, you’re proving it yourself by using the word believe. I’m recommending to my readers to simply believe that tough things in life are transferable.”
Mr. Skeptical shrinks in size. I smile.
Next time you shower (this is why I have a hand in the shower pic), put the water as cold as possible and just sit there and take it for 10 seconds. This has health benefits, yet the mental and emotional benefit is more significant. After you get used to 10 seconds, up it, little by little, each time you shower. I’m now up to 40 seconds.
By bearing the cold water, you can put up with hard shit, which transfers to other areas of your life.
Be aware and give it a try.