When Problems Are Really Solutions
The Subconscious Fat of Some Problems
I became inspired to write this article today due to a section from the book I’m reading now: The Body Keeps The Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. This part of the book discusses how some human problems are solutions.
I look at Mr. Skeptical sitting across from me. He’s sitting there, very relaxed, looking up at the ceiling, acting aloof, but he can see everything I write. Well, everything except when I write in italics. I debate whether to tell him anything. Nevertheless, since I think of myself as Hermann Diehl the Real Deal, I say, “You also inspired me to write about this topic today.”
Mr. Skeptical’s eyes squint at me. He mutters very slowly, “Really…”
I force myself to perform a faux smile. “Yeah, I’ll tell you how you inspired me at the end.”
I continue my fake smile, knowing that when I tell him, the shit will hit the fan!
Subconscious Fat at 30,000 feet
I was recently given an example from a man where a problem can be a solution. The man’s mother had been a vegetarian for most of her life. His mother now has Alzheimer’s disease, and she’s not doing so well. He told me he’d recently learned how eating meat can be essential for brain health (see a post on that here). He wondered if he could convince his mom to eat a little meat.
Mr. Skeptical comments, “Sometimes those closest to you are the least likely to listen to you.”
“Yes, that’s often the case. However, I still encouraged him to try to convince his mom to eat a little meat. Or maybe to trick her into eating something like dissected liver pills to improve her health.”
“Hmmm, what did he say about that?”
“He agreed that dissected liver pills might be a good idea because for her to simply switch to eating meat seems a stretch. But my point is that his mom mentioned that when she was a little girl, her mom always forced her to eat meat. So, her vegetarianism is really a rebellion to her mom.”
“Okay. A lot of people rebel. Especially if their parents forced them to do something they didn’t want.”
“Exactly. This is a perfect example of turning a problem into a solution.”
Subconscious Fat at 10,000 feet
My first post on this newsletter deals with the issue I had when my grandmother cooked for me years ago. I was overeating food that wasn’t ideal. (See that post here.)
Everybody reacts differently to stress and life experiences. It’s expected that perhaps someone who’s a workaholic today was told as a child that they’d never amount to much by a caregiver. This insult could motivate someone to excel in their work, but also to the detriment of their health and loved ones. Anything taken too far to an extreme is usually bad. Yet, someone else, often a sibling, could react differently and want to escape via alcohol and drugs.
Mr. Skeptical glares at me and yells, “For crying out loud, tell me something I don’t know already. And I want to know how I’ve inspired you to write about this topic.”
Subconscious Fat at Eye-Level
I stare daggers back at Mr. Skeptical. “In the book, The Body Keep the Score, it’s mentioned how a doctor discovered that the majority of his morbidly obese patients were sexually abused as children.”
“That’s terrible. So the conclusion is that many obese people are victims of childhood sexual abuse?”
“No. I’m not saying that, and neither is the book. It’s just that sometimes childhood sexual abuse will lead to obesity, but it can also lead to plenty of other problems. Obesity can happen simply by eating the standard American Diet.
“However, one female rape victim in the book said,
“Overweight is overlooked, and that’s the way I need to be.”
Another male patient who was raised by a violent alcoholic grandfather stated:
“It wasn’t that I ate because I was hungry and all that. It was just a place for me to feel safe. All the way from kindergarten I used to get beat up all the time. When I got the weight on it didn’t happen anymore.”
Practical Suggestions and Conclusions
Sometimes, there’s a lot of Subconscious Fat, so we should hold off on judging or being critical. We should never judge, for we don’t know the subconscious fat making them do what they do. We don’t know what traumas they may have had as children.
Mr. Skeptical is watching me very closely. His arms folded and fingers tapping his elbow. He’s waiting. Let’s see how messy things get. “In my last post, you made fun of obesity, saying a specific exercise equipment should have a sign above it saying ‘for fat people.”
“Yeah, so what.”
“There’s no need to call people fat. It’s rude.”
“This coming from a person who calls this newsletter Subconscious Fat.”
“Yes. I don’t see the irony. I’m using fat as a term to mean something. I’m not using it to describe someone or a group of people. Besides, when I eat meat, I like to eat the fat, and it’s healthy to do so. Fat is not a bad word. It simply depends in which context it’s used.”
Mr. Skeptical gets up, gives me the middle finger, and walks out.
I chuckle. Yet I too, sometimes fail to have empathy for others. As a trainer, I sometimes get frustrated when people eat poorly and complain about weight loss. Yet I’ve also learned that sometimes their problem may be masking or covering up another issue. Sometimes, the problem is really a solution.
Be aware.
PS Links in Facebook and Instagram. Full disclosure: Chat GPT was used to research and enhance this post.
PSS I’d also like to welcome the new subscribers from Legion’s Farmers Market, and special thanks to Simon from Cleaver and Hog. Below are pictures from the Gaucho Ranch POP UP Parrilla we had last Friday. The food was absolutely delicious, thanks to the Grill Master Jorge Olivieri for cooking it.
