On Thanksgiving, Avoid the Potato
The Subconscious Fat of Potatoes
Mr. Skeptical sits across the table, twirling his fork in his hand, eyeing the title for this post. “You know, Thanksgiving just isn’t Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes.”
I raise an eyebrow, resting my chin on my hand. “It’d be better off without them.”
He stops mid-twirl, fixing me with a look that could only mean disbelief. “What kind of monster doesn’t like potatoes?”
“I didn’t say I don’t like them. I said we’d be better off without them—nutritionally.”
Subconscious Fat at 30,000 Feet
Mr. Skeptical leans forward, but he stays quiet.
“Let’s break this down,” I say, gesturing at an imaginary chalkboard in the air. “Mashed potatoes are a carb bomb. They’re full of starch, which breaks down into sugar almost immediately when you eat them. Blood sugar spikes, insulin follows, and before you know it, you’re in a post-Thanksgiving crash.”
He shakes his head with a knowing grin. “Let me guess—steak doesn’t do that, right?”
“Well, no, it doesn’t. Steak gives you protein and fat, which don’t cause the same blood sugar roller coaster. Potatoes? They’re filler food pretending to be a holiday staple.”
“You always reduce everything to ‘blood sugar,’” he counters, slicing into an imaginary mound of mashed potatoes with his fork. “What about tradition? Mashed potatoes are comforting. They bring people together.”
“Comfort is fine,” I reply, “but why not comfort yourself with something more nutrient-dense? Potatoes are nutritionally hollow. You could replace them with more fatty turkey.”
“Some people get sick of eating so much turkey.”
“That might be true to a point. As a human goes on an animal-based diet, the body adapts to and craves more animal fat. The body’s innate intelligence adapts and then craves what is best for the body.”
Subconscious Fat at 10,000 Feet
Mr. Skeptical looks at me like I’ve just insulted his childhood. “Well, sweet potatoes are healthy. One can choose to eat that.”
Instead of responding, I add the graph below.
I comment, “Look at all the carbs in sweet potatoes. How can that be healthy?
“First of all,” he says, holding up a finger, “What’s wrong with a few carbs on Thanksgiving? You’re already indulging. It’s one day!”
“That’s the trap,” I reply, raising my finger to match his. “One day turns into leftover mashed potatoes, then hash browns for breakfast, and by the time you’re done, you’ve spent a week overloading on carbs. Potatoes are cheap and filling, but they’re not sustaining.”
“They sustain my soul,” he shoots back with mock sincerity.
Subconscious Fat at Eye-Level
Mr. Skeptical then goes on my computer, looks up an image, and adds it to this post.
He then leans back, folding his arms in a way that screams, “Convince me.”
Irritated, I say, “Graphs like that convinced me to write today about potatoes. Some people think potatoes are a superfood. It’s insane.”
Mr. Skeptical gets up and adds, “Some countries have grown and supported their populations with potatoes.”
“Perhaps, but that is always after the animals to hunt have been wiped out. You’re forgetting one big thing about potatoes we haven’t touched on yet.”
“What?”
“Antinutrients. As usual, we have to go back to first principles, and I must remind you that potatoes want to live and not be eaten, so they create antinutrients and toxins so that humans and animals don’t eat them.”
Mr. Skeptical sits back down and waves his arm casually, dismissively. “The antinutrients and toxins get killed when potatoes are peeled or cooked.”
“But your image up there says a skin-on potato has more potassium than a banana. That is misleading and says nothing about the antinutrients and toxins, many of which are found on the skin.”
“What antinutrients are so bad anyway?”
“For one, glycoalkaloids. Some people call them ‘potato poison’. They cause a cell-rupturing effect inside the intestines. This leads to a leaky gut syndrome. And instead of showing you a marketing graph, like the one you have thrown in here, I’ll give you the science papers behind it with links here and here.
I lean back, crossing my arms. It’s almost amusing how defensive he gets about potatoes. I add, “Potatoes also have nitrates, lectins, trypsin inhibitors, and salicylates. These can’t be cooked entirely away, and they’re unhealthy.
Practical Suggestions and Conclusions
“So, what’s your ideal Thanksgiving plate?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.
“Turkey with crispy skin for protein and fat. After eating turkey, if there’s ham, I’ll likely try that. Then, after stuffing myself with all of that, maybe I’ll have some cranberry, which I know has a lot of sugar, but hey, it’s a Holiday.”
“Sounds boring,” he says, smirking. “Here’s my plate: turkey, mashed potatoes with a ladle of gravy, a buttered roll, and a slice of pie. It’s about balance. A little indulgence isn’t going to kill you.”
“Actually, similar to smoking cigarettes, it’s likely going to kill you eventually. And for sure, it’ll leave you bloated and tired.”
“That’s part of the holiday charm!”
I sigh, shaking my head. Mr. Skeptical’s grin tells me he’ll never be convinced. “Fine. Keep your mashed potatoes. Just don’t pretend they’re a nutritional win.”
“Deal,” he says with a grin, spearing an imaginary bite of his carb-laden masterpiece.
Mr. Skeptical grabs a piece of bread, almost theatrically, as if his defiance needs an encore.
“Just remember,” I add, pointing a finger at him, “when you’re hungry again in two hours after snoring away, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Fair enough,” he replies, “but I’ll be happy—and full of potatoes.”
My Thanksgiving suggestion is to eat as much fatty turkey as possible. So, in the end, you’re almost too stuffed for anything else. If you then indulge in dessert or anything else, it’ll be a smaller piece and better than eating potatoes.
Be aware.
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PSS Online event: Carnivore Q & A next Wednesday, Dec 4, at 8 PM