How the Clinton Sex Scandal Altered Romantic Relationships
The Subconscious Fat of Romantic Relationships
By the Clinton sex scandal, I mean Bill Clinton's most famous sex scandal, which was with Monica Lewinsky.
“So the Clinton sex scandal altered romantic relationships for who?”
I hoped to get away with writing today without Mr. Skeptical. So please forgive me, readers, for I may have to answer some dumb questions. “Well, since he was the president of the United States, it affected everyone who heard about it.”
Mr. Skeptical pouts his face. “How and in what way?”
“It was the first time that someone so powerful had proof against him indicating inappropriate sex act.”
“You’re referring to the semen smear Monica had on her blue dress.”
“Yes, that was proof of a sexual act.”
“How did that change or alter romantic relationships?”
Mr. Skeptical is so irritating. I hate it when he asks such questions. “Okay, my point is that it brought to light that many powerful men cheat.”
“Well, a lot of people already knew that. I’m still trying to figure out what you mean by the Clinton sex scandal altering relationships.”
“I’m using the Clinton sex scandal as a sign of the times.”
“A sign of the times?”
“Meaning the scandal brought to light how technology was going to change romantic relationships.”
“So, why didn’t you call this newsletter something like Modern Tech Has Altered Romantic Relationships?”
“Because that sounds boring. Bringing up the Clinton sex scandal will likely get more people interested.”
“You’re such a showboat.” Mr. Skeptical says this while shaking his head.
“Hey, I’m just trying to get us more readers. And without readers, do you know what you are, Mr. Skeptical?”
“No. Enlighten me.”
“You are nothing without this newsletter. You don’t even exist if this newsletter is not out there.”
In response, he rolls his eyes, sighs, and stares at me. He’s just waiting for me to write more so he can pounce and criticize me.
Moving along…
The Subconscious Fat at 30,000 feet
I’m going to assume that many men and women cheat. I think most people would agree that this is a common occurrence. However, let’s look at sex scandals with politicians. I searched Wikipedia’s list of federal political sex scandals in the United States. This list highlights that technology has had a massive effect on romantic relationships. The Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal made it visible and popular, a sign of the times.
Between 1776 to 1899, it was discovered that only twelve politicians had a sex scandal. That seems so low. Could they have been more moral or religious back then?
Mr. Skeptical adds. “I highly doubt they were more moral. Many politicians cheated, but they got away with it. Unfortunately, there was slavery during that period, so I’m sure many politicians took advantage and had sex with their slaves.”
“Yes, it was an awful time in US history, and there’s plenty of evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered children from an enslaved woman. Wow, Mr. Skeptical, we agree on something.”
Then from 1900 to 1969, only nine politicians were caught in a sex scandal. That is only nine in sixty-nine years.
But then, from 1970 to 1979, seven were caught up in a sex scandal. One can see that as technology improves, more politicians get caught cheating. Up to this point, no politician was caught due to technology. Some politicians admitted their affairs or solicited undercover officers posing as ladies of the night. No tech ruining things yet.
However, from 1980 to 1989, we had eleven sex scandals. During this period, we have the first sex scandal discovered via technology. This list puts senator Gary Hart as the first politician to ‘get caught’ at the hands of technology. It was a simple camera. Someone took a picture of him with model Donna Rice on a boat called Monkey Business.
Nevertheless, for the 1980s on this list, this was the only politician caught cheating due to tech. Many other politicians likely had to pay someone off not to publish specific photographs. And those are stories we’ll never know.
The list continues in a very predictable pattern.
The 1990s brought the political sex scandals to fifteen. According to the Wikipedia list, two were due to modern technology. One was Austin J. Murphy, who was videotaped leaving the home of his mistress.
The other colossal sex scandal in the 1990s discovered due to tech was, of course, with Bill Clinton. The technology existed to identify DNA via a sperm smear on a dress, and Clinton knew this, so he admitted to “inappropriate intimate physical contact.”
His hand was forced.
As we continue with the rise and use of technology like the internet and smartphones with cameras everywhere, we see the predictable surge of more political sex scandals.
From 2000-2009 there were 17 political sex scandals, with at least three due to modern tech.
From 2010-2019 there were 22 sex scandals in politics, with 6 of them due to modern tech. Between 2020-2022 there are already five sex scandals, so we are on our way to having more political sex scandals.
I’d also add that tech was not the only reason sex scandals have risen in politics. With the inclusion of more women in politics and as investigative reporters, men weren’t as protected as they used to be. Yes, I believe men protected men. Many men felt lousy reporting on a story of infidelity when the man doing the reporting was likely in an affair himself or hoping to be in one.
The Subconscious Fat at 10,000 feet
In the late ’90s, as the Clinton sex scandal was playing out, something else was happening for the average American: cell phone and internet use were growing exponentially. This also equates to something else happening in America. Many husbands and wives were getting caught cheating.
Cheating led to business opportunities, including the reality TV show Cheaters and the Ashley Madison dating site. The site’s slogan was “Life is short. Have an affair.”
“You were smiling when you wrote that.”
Mr. Skeptical is sitting right in front of me, observing me. “I’m smiling because I enjoy writing.”
“No. There’s something else going on.”
“Okay, let me finish writing the points I want to make. You’re interrupting my train of thought.”
He smirks and looks away. He’s so freaking nosy.
The Subconscious Fat at Eye Level
I knew someone who worked in cell phone sales in the early 2000s. This person would tell me how many customers returned to the cell phone store, wanting to learn how to erase numbers and not have specific phone numbers appear on the bill. I heard stories of how many would break down and admit they were having an affair.
“So Hermann, who was this person who told you all of these stories?”
“What does that matter? I’m giving a valid and accurate account of someone in the cell phone industry at the time.”
“Was it a woman?”
“Who cares,” I yell.
“I care. And I think some of our readers may want to know.”
“I’ll talk about that at the end. Let me get the info out first.”
Where was I?
Ah yes. These technological changes led many more men and women to get caught cheating, eventually leading to a sub-cultural shift. Finally, humans realized that full-time monogamy was not the norm for many.
It was a situation of major Subconscious Fat happening all at once. How many men looked at their wives and smirked when they saw the Clinton sex scandal on TV, thinking, shit, I better be careful. I don't want to get caught like Bill.
Go back to the list of political sex scandals and observe how many who accused Clinton and wanted him to resign ended up having their own sex scandals.
Well, I can’t help myself, for I’ve done the work for you. This is only from the Wikipedia list. They are Helen Chenoweth-Hage, who called for Clinton’s resignation, yet she admitted to a six-year affair with a married man. Bob Barr was the first politician to demand Clinton’s resignation. He cheated while still married to wife #2. Dan Burton gave strongly worded statements condemning Clinton’s sex scandal. Mr. Burton was later discovered to have had an affair and father a child out of wedlock. Robert Livingston also called for Clinton’s resignation and was found to have had an affair. Robert’s replacement was Senator David Vitter, whose name was mentioned in the address book of the D.C. madam. Newt Gingrich led the impeachment proceeding for Bill Clinton. While he was doing the proceeding, he was having an affair.
“Wait a minute. Newt Gingrich, while leading the push to get the President of the United States impeached, was having his own sex out of wedlock?”
“Yep.”
Mr. Skeptical just looks straight ahead. His face slacked jawed.
“What are you thinking, Mr. Skeptical? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
He smiles at me, maliciousness in his eyes. “He must have had some great sex.”
I laugh. “If Mr. Newt Gingrich’s kink was to do something risky, then yes, the sex must have been awesome.”
We both laugh, and he comments, “Boy, that was a lot of people who condemned Clinton while having their own affairs.”
“We aren’t done.”
Mr. Skeptical looks at me with a puzzled expression. “These politicians get a lot of action, huh?”
“Yep, they sure did. After there was evidence of it, Henry Hide admitted to a past affair while leading the impeachment proceedings for Bill Clinton over the sex scandal. Pete Domenici, who voted to have Clinton impeached, confessed to a past affair and fathering a son. Gary Condit was connected to cheating as well. He advocated for Clinton to “come clean” about the scandal. Steven C. LaTourette had voted Clinton to be impeached but also cheated. Senator John Ensign, who also called for a Clinton impeachment, had an affair with the wife of a close friend.”
“Wait, how do we know he wasn’t doing his friend a favor?”
The ends of my mouth curve up, and I chuckle. “I don’t know; maybe it was all agreed upon. Things like that do happen.”
“Yes, they call that Hotwifing, right?”
“Yes, that’s when a man gets pleasure from seeing his wife have sex with other men. It’s a thing.”
“Are we done yet?”
Before I can respond, Mr. Skeptical jumps up. “I know what the Subconscious Fat with the politicians is.”
I give him a puzzled look. “What?”
“Imagine a politician like Newt Gingrich thinking, ‘That damn Clinton, President and getting a blow job in the White House. And then lying to the American people. Who the hell does he think he is?’ He moves his hands in a figure-eight flow-type motion and says, “Then a wiggly-squiggly thought enters Newt’s mind. ‘Damn it, I’m missing out. I should have an affair.’ He then starts to pump his hips like Elvis.
I laugh, watching Mr. Skeptical’s gyrations all while dressed in his white suit and hat. I say, “So you’re saying the Clinton sex scandal may have made more politicians have affairs, like going viral?”
“Yes. They wanted to bring Clinton down, but really, they had FOMO. This was the Subconscious Fat.”
“Well, I can see your theory being plausible. There certainly were enough politicians accusing Clinton who had their own affairs. Let’s look at how the scandal was a sign of the times and affected society.”
Due to technology, getting away with an affair in today’s society is very difficult. Technology makes us more aware. Most of the time, it leads to things getting better. Where would murder be today if it weren’t for technology?
I’ve seen enough murder crime stories on TV to know that I will not murder anyone soon. I know it’s wrong, but even if I wanted to do it, I’d likely get caught, so I won’t do it. DNA evidence is too easy to leave behind, and there’s too many people with cell phones or in-home cameras.
It’s the same thing with having an affair. It’s easy–but legally questionable in certain states–to drop an Apple AirTag in a spouse's car, knowing where they’re going. We have little privacy now.
Loss of privacy has led to the sub-culture rise in the early 2000s of Non-monogamy, or better yet, Ethical Non-monogamy. The book The Ethical Slut, first published in 1997, opened the minds of many people to the idea that sex is good and pleasurable and okay with more than one person. Romantic and sexual relationships can be formed with more than one person, and it’s better to be honest and open than to cheat.
However, I want to make something clear. People aren’t seriously looking at this now because it’s the moral thing to do. No.
Just like Clinton was forced to admit his inappropriate relationship with Monica Lewinsky due to technology: the DNA tech to identify someone’s sperm; we are now forced to acknowledge the concept of open relationships because we realize we’ll likely get caught sooner or later due to technology.
We may want to think we’re doing the ethical thing, but the truth is, our hand was forced. And yes, I’d say this applies more to men than women in most cases.
Practical Suggestions and Conclusions
Don’t judge people who cheat. Not all humans can handle being faithful forever and ever. Many famous and successful men have cheated: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Martin Luther King, Alexander Hamilton, and the list continues. Many famous women have cheated: Princess Diana, Elizabeth Taylor, Jessica Simpson, and the list continues.
Similar to humans who are gay, non-binary, or trans, humans who don’t want to be monogamous forever have rights too. The Subconscious Fat here is that cheating is frowned upon, and it should be to a certain degree because it can severely hurt the deceived spouse.
However, thanks to technology, humans have had their hands forced to talk about their true feelings about monogamy. The truth is monogamy is simply not for everyone. I’m not going to get into statistics here, but I’d say at least half or more spouses end up being or wanting to be unfaithful at some point in their lives.
Today, there is a subculture of humans who are non-monogamous. I admire famous couples like Will Smith and Jada, who admit they are non-monogamous. Today, humans should not lie about a temptation they might have or another person they find attractive.
I’m not saying this is easy. It’s hard. It requires growth. It requires letting go of old evolutionary, religious, and paternalistic forms of thinking. It requires dealing with jealousy, which may be difficult but will make you a better person.
Discuss it with your partner if you or a loved one is thinking about or tempted to cheat. You might be surprised, for they may be open to the idea. This can rejuvenate and be exciting for a relationship. Read books like The Ethical Slut, Designer Relationships, and More Than Two. Other Substack bloggers are The Moral Dilemma of Monogamy by Belinda Tobin and Monogamish by Sarah Stroh. Since this lifestyle is growing fast, more books are always coming out. Also, listen to podcasts like Normalizing Non-Monogamy, Multiamory, and Evolve Your Intimacy.
Mr. Skeptical cuts in, “Okay, now you’re giving our readers straight-up advice, making yourself look like an angel. Like you’re ethical, and you only do what’s right.” He uses his fingers to demonstrate air quotes for the words ethical and what’s right.
“I’m not saying what I did was ethical or right.” I don’t emphasize air quotes. “I’m just giving ideas on how to be honest, open, and not cheat.”
“Well, you were married for eleven years. Were you always faithful? Did you tell your wife at the time that you cheated or that you wanted to?”
“I’m not talking about my life here.”
Mr. Skeptical leans in closer to me, looking at me straight in the eyes. “But don’t our readers have a right to know? Especially since you are making suggestions.”
Damn it. Sometimes I really want to murder him. “I guess one day I can write about my marriage. I’m not ready to do that today. But I will say this, if I was unfaithful, I eventually let her know.”
“That’ll be a good idea. You can tell us if you were faithful or not. I’m betting you weren’t. No offense.”
I want to scream at him, but I regulate my voice down to a yell. “I just want to give good information out to the readers. Why do you always have to make this about me?”
I’m pissed. I get up and walk out…
Hello readers. This is Mr. Skeptical writing. I will always keep Hermann’s feet to the fire. If he’s going to make suggestions and observations for you, I feel you all should know the truth about him. If he’s going to write about Subconscious Fat, I’ll make sure you know his.
I’ll ensure he reveals in a future newsletter any infidelities he may have had in his past marriage. So keep reading and subscribing to this newsletter, for I promise to keep this newsletter and Hermann authentic.
And remember, be aware.